By the time the fall comes around, most of the competitive golfing season is over. Whether you play in state opens, local city or county level events, or club tournaments, the schedule for competitive golf tapers off as the weather gets cooler.
Except for one brave, heroic, and foolhardy event. The one that doesn't care that it could be 40 degrees with a 20 mile per hour wind at tee off time. The one that says, yes I know you hit the ball three yards off the fairway but good luck finding it under the massive pile of leaves. The one that has a 12:30pm shotgun start and you're still racing daylight.
That spirited event is the Fall-One Day Member-Guest Tournament.
Lunch
First things first, you arrive at the club and check in at the registration table. You get your tee gift (some spare sleeves of golf balls are always appreciated, because, let's face it, you're going to lose some on the course) and then have to make a choice between heading to the range first or to lunch first. things first, you arrive at the club and check in at the registration table. You get your tee gift (some spare sleeves of golf balls are always appreciated, because, let's face it, you're going to lose some on the course) and then have to make a choice between heading to the range first or to lunch first.
Lunch it is, of course. After all, have you ever seen a deer warm-up?
After getting some food from the grill, you notice the bar is open. And you’re not not going to have a beverage. “Two transfusions, please.”
Those people drinking water are overachievers.
The Warm-Up
You decide that ultimately you probably should hit a few balls and roll a few putts before heading out to the course. There’s too much time between finishing lunch and the shotgun start time.
Member-guests are marathons not sprints, so maybe hanging out at the bar before even starting isn’t the smartest idea if you want to make it to dinner, let alone the first tee.
The Shotgun Start
I am convinced there are only two holes that exist in a shotgun start: the hardest hole on the course, and the hole furthest away from the clubhouse. Or, it is both of those things.
Do you enjoy a 195-yard par 3 with a two-tiered green and a pin tucked behind a bunker? Sure, as the 12th hole. Not as the first hole I have to play. But, that’s exactly what your first hole is. Good luck.
Four bogeys made by the group later and you’re off.
Let’s blame it on the 14-minute cart ride out to the hole that might as well be in a different county. Way to kill my vibe.
The First Visit from the Beverage Cart
Vibes can quickly return with a well-timed visit from the beverage cart. Fortunately, a hole and a half in, the beverage cart arrives.
The two other guys in your group also head over to get a drink. They order doubles. You do too.
The Realization Your Team Isn't Playing That Bad
The double pour of liquor in your cocktail makes a difference and you get into the “zone of false confidence.” Somehow, the game becomes a little easier, because you are a little more loose - more relaxed. Your attitude is more toward fun, and the scores become a little lower.
A few pars and a birdie or two later, maybe you can win this thing after all. You can picture yourself looking at the racks of shirts and quarter-zips to spend that pro shop credit you’re inevitably going to win.
The Second (and Third) Visit from the Beverage Cart
The beverage cart seems to be making its journey around the course a little quicker than on a regular day, and the second round of beverages (on the course), you decide to play it safe, and get beer. After all, it’s a long day and you’re playing well!
A few holes later, the beverage cart meets you on the tee. Back to transfusions, because you may not get another chance to get a drink on the course and you want to do it right. Oh, and a bottle of water.
The Realization That Your Team Is Out of It
Whatever groove you found in your golf game is now gone. Maybe it has to do with the additional drinks, maybe it has to do with your lack of ability.
No longer are you imagining yourself in the newest club attire; that pro shop credit is out of reach.
You have to scroll a long way down the leaderboard app to find your team in the standings. You’re quickly running out of holes to make up ground and try to sneak in to the top 8 places that gets paid out.
I mean, there is a team that is -12 through 15 holes on the net leaderboard. How can you even compete with that?
The Birdie on the Last Hole
While all hope is abandoned and you can only think of the post-round meal, your final tee shot of the day is the best one. Long and straight, leaving a short iron in to the hole. Another good swing - who knew you could put two of those together? - and your approach shot lands 10 feet from the hole.
You’re the only player in the group without a birdie on the day. It’s now or never. You take an extra few seconds to look at the break. You want to make it! A final hole birdie makes everything better.
The ball rolls off the putter and is tracking perfectly toward the hole. It appears it may end up just short, but with a bit of good fortune, the ball trickles over the front lip of the hole for your birdie!
And that vaults your team up to about T-23 on the leaderboard.
The Post-Round Steak, Cigars, and Whiskey
There is only one way to conclude the fall member-guest tournament: with steak, cigars, and whiskey.
The round was a little chilly - it is the fall - so a nice steak hits the spot for dinner. The whiskey tastings warm you up. A nice cigar on the patio compliments the whiskey, as you and your teammate (and everyone else) watches the sunset over the golf course relive the few moments of triumph and significant moments of misfortune.
The head professional announces the results and prizes. Because you decided to wait until the last hole to make a birdie and have any beneficial impact on the scoring, you're well out of the pro shop credit prizes.
And at the end of the event you leave the course, hoping for a warm day or two to be able to play again on grass before it's simulator season.
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