The first day of April is many things: National Sourdough Bread Day, International Pillow Fight Day, April Fool's Day, and, most importantly, the start of active handicap season for many golfers in the northern states.
Tee sheets are packed full of eager golfers emerging from their winter hibernation on the first weekend of April.
The circadian rhythms of golfers with an off-season is similar. Most look something like this. Apologies in advance to all northern golfers for whom this may hit a little too close to home. And for you California, Florida, or Arizona golfers, maybe you'll learn something and feel a little empathy for your fellow golfer.
January 1
It's time for New Year's Resolutions and there's nothing a golfer lovers more than to say "this is the off-season I take improvement seriously so I'm ready to have my best year on the golf course ever."
Lessons will be booked. An indoor simulator membership will be secured. Gym membership contract will signed. Maybe even a club fitting will be scheduled. After all, this is year. Career lows, baby.
January 2 to March 31
None of those things you thought of, planned to do, and wanted to do to take this off-season seriously come to fruition.
You don't want to leave the house. It's cold, potentially snowy, and dark at 4:30pm.
Maybe one or two days during the three months, your prayers are answered and a 40 degree day comes and you can hit the range or even get a little nine-hole round in.
You do have a long weekend golf trip booked. Naturally, you stink. You haven't picked up a club in 10 weeks, after all.
First Weekend of April
It's time. The long winter wait is over. Sure, it's still a little chilly. But it's golf season!
With no expectations (because you didn't do anything you said you'd do for the last three months), you play well. Like uncomfortably well. Like "maybe I'm not that bad after all" well.
Your expectations for a good season now unjustifiably soar.
The second weekend of April is The Masters and obviously you're more excited for golf than ever.
Late April
The second round of the year is a regression back to the lowest common denominator of your golfing ability.
You confirm, that you do, in fact, stink.
May to August
With the longer days and warmer weather, you have desire to leave the house and actually work on your golf game. Maybe you hit the range once a week. Play some more rounds. Start to figure out the golf swing. Make a few putts.
It only took about five months, but by Labor Day, the golf game is in a pretty good spot.
September
Is fall golf the best golf? That's up for debate.
But in September, the golf game is on point. You are in complete control of your swing. Putts are rolling in. The handicap index is dropping. Life is good.
October
Fall golf may be good because of the weather, but one of the drawbacks of fall golf appears in October: leaves.
Any shot slightly missed off the fairway is likely under a leaf. Which leaf? One of the five million. Good luck finding your ball. The golf equipment budget must be increased in the fall to account for lost balls under leaves.
November
The days turn colder, the nights come earlier; it's the onset of winter. The clubs don't come out as often. Sadness sets in because golf season is over. You research golf trips for the upcoming winter. You don't have the money for it, but book it anyway. It's the only thing that will get you through the cold, dark, gray winter.
January comes soon enough, though, and this process repeats year after year after year.
It is said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Einstein may or may not have said this, but it doesn't take an Einstein to know that golfers are, indeed, insane.
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